2/8/08 Dream

I visit a house full of Porn Stars.

Once I'm let in, I start showing them a set of their 'nudie' playing cards.

Then I get out an identical set of cards, but these I had created with all the girls fully clothed.

I make them feel ashamed.

And then I wake up.

01/8/08 Dream

Rose and Matt (in real life: customers who I used to serve in the bookshop) have just bought 2 classic cars, both Triumph Dolomite Sprints. But one of these is, inexplicably, a 3-wheeler. And the other...has just 2 wheels, with metal struts that drag along the ground either side to keep it upright.

They ask me which one I should keep, but both are badly made with wood underneath the body/fuselage. I don't know how to tell them that they are both shit.

And then I wake up.

29/7/08 Dream

I'm at some kind of boot camp, learning to be a teacher. We all are in a room taking it in turns to go up to the front and present to a group of schoolchildren.

At one point, the team leader tells me to go out and fetch a sports celebrity from the car park, as they're going to speak to 'the kids'. I find him and lead him back to the classroom. This man may, or may not, be Colin Jackson.

When we get there, Gary Lineker is already there. He is very serious.

And then I wake up.

28/7/08 Dream

I find a new relationship with a beautiful black girl with 3 or 4 kids - everything is bliss as we roll around a big white mattress on the floor where we sleep. She's stunning and has an ex-boyfriend who looks just like the bloke from BBC's Attachments. We worry together about what I'm going to tell my existing family, how they'll react to this.

And then I wake up.

I woke up yelling, jumping (falling) out of bed, reaching for the light, as small insecty animals with fat round shiny abdomens streamed across my pillow.

I'm going back to sleeping with the light on.

spy / thriller

two dreams or two different parts of the same dream, i am not sure. both are narratives and both are spy/thriller style (guess i am excited by the new bond movie and “spooks” being back on the bbc).
in one there is a conversation going on about the fraudulent buying and selling of diamonds, or a diamond like substance. this conversation is taking place between the nefarious female mastermind and her advisor. it is almost like they are doing this in voiceover, as they speak there are lots of images of what they are trying to do.
the buying part has been accomplished, seemingly all done through facebook. now some of the diamonds have been sold on at a higher price to dummy companies owned by the mastermind. her advisor is telling her she should get rid of all the diamonds as they have now created a new high market price for them.
it is as if they have bought up all the available diamonds. they are selling a few to prevent people being suspicious and to aid moving some of the diamonds around to a new location.
the direction of the conversation is almost as if the advisor doesn’t know what the mastermind is up to, that he thinks she is just a ruthless trader while we know that she is the head of a dangerous criminal/spy organisation.
the diamonds she now owns are not to be used for profit they are part of a plan to tap into a top-secret tunnel/cable and from this steal/siphon something off. there is an image of a large diamond claw burrowing through the earth and grasping the tunnel/cable.

other dream/part
a crooked sportsman has decided to go to court to accept his punishment. he had done something that got his team killed just after their greatest triumph (there is a suggestion that this was a rigged victory). he is crooked not because he took some bribes or threw a game, but because he has a skill that he uses to help villains when they need to break into places (not sure if this is a computing skill or an engineering skill).
he had been very useful in the past to crooks; he stopped being as useful once his sporting career took off. it feels as if the victory/tragedy was a message “we give and we can take away, you have to work for us” type thing. because of the deaths he has decided to do the honourable thing.
he is in court. his lawyer (has a george clooney air about him) is checking that he wants to go through with this, he does, lawyer confirms that there is plenty of protection for him.
the court is full, the colours are bright and breezy and one wall is just a big window.
not long into the court session starting there is a bit of a gurgle chunk noise from the overhead fans. this gets worse. then suddenly ice cubes start pouring from the fan (they are those cone like ice cubes you tend to get in hotel bars, and in the dream they seem to come in waves of drink colours, i remember the cola shaded ones) at this point the lawyer shouts out “fire, fire everyone leave, evacuate”.
he tells his client to stay put, lawyer pulls a gun from his coat and stands ready to protect the client. they move over to where the fan is, but it is not a ceiling fan as such more a rotating grill that at certain points opens up to a hole to allow the ice cubes in. they can see that there are people, dressed in gold lame protection suits, up there trying to deal with the emergency.
as soon as the court if clear a number of emergency response uniforms walk in, there are a couple of fireman, a couple of policemen, a paramedic and two guys with a gurney. the vantage point that we watch them enter is from high up in the corner of the court. as they enter they spread out, effectively blocking the approaches to the door, we can tell there is something not right about them.
the lawyer turns to his client and tells him that they have to leave. he says not before checking on the people in the fan. there is confusion. client points to one of the firemen and says we need to get up there; all he gets is an amused look. no one seems to want to go up and check. he then says to one of them to give him a boost up there and he will look. same kind of expression. eventually a bald, short, young oriental in a black vest, brings him a number of chairs (they are the ones that were in all mums kitchens, wooden legs slightly curving out at the floor, oval rings for the back rest and a plastic seat covering in this case the wood was dull yellow going cream and the plastic was a faded pink), he puts two of them together, front to front, and then puts the third on top of them, making a little pyramid that will be high enough for the client to get to the top to peer into the fan tunnel.
when he touches the bodies they appear to be lifeless.
he jumps down. is surrounded and then is knocked out.

the client wakes up in a large bed in a dimly lit room, he can see light and hear noise through a slight gap in the very heavy curtain, he gets up and goes through. there appears to be a party/gathering going on. lots of people, a number of couples necking and petting. he can see the city skyline very close and he realises he is on a roof in the middle of the city.
the client sees his lawyer (in plaid shorts on a recliner with a drink in his hand) and wanders over to him with "a what is going on" look on his face. he begins to recognise the faces of the emergency response team (all done in that flashback style that is so popular in movies at the moment).
a young woman offers him a drink, he accepts. there is a screen nearby talking about his death in a courtroom fire and a lengthy replay of his team’s great victory. the woman is talking over it, saying that they had won once before they were going to win again, realises that she has fluffed her lines and then repeats “that they had won the only time they were going to and now would be sports greatest heroes”.
the lawyer claps him on his back and tells him this was the only way they could get him back.

(dream ends)

rehearsal

this takes place in a large industrial space, very rock/pop video territory. there are a group of us there. we are dotted about it, all waiting for something. we are all towards the back of the space. in front of the space, there seems to be another large warehouse space, it looks partly decayed, as if it had stopped working in the middle of job and there is still lots of bits and pieces all left about the place. the light there is a washed out sunlight, not quite dark, not quite light. it appears to be open the elements, while the industrial space we are in is enclosed.
there is a lot of talk, a lot of hubbub, but little movement.
someone arrives. they want to change the layout, they want to move things around. i ask why. no good answer. although there seems to be some agreement that the moves are going to take place no one is moving, it is business as normal.
(in the dream i have the impression that some things occur now, but i can’t remember them)
for some reason i move out of the industrial space into the other space and start walking around. there are books all over the ground, i walk carefully among them, looking at the titles. the ground is not level, rising and falling, with bumps and holes in the ground. i have to walk across a little bridge, but i still seem to be inside this warehouse workspace.
i come closer to a shack, there seem to be people in there. we do not acknowledge each other.
i see a large hardcover on the ground. it has a bright gaudy cover with yellow bands on white. it is a new james bond book. i pick it up. the dust jacket has a part of it ripped out. the praise blurb at the back is from barbara allen, the picture is of a mature woman with very white hair.
i carry the book off. there is a thought in my head that this will be worth a lot in the future.

(dream ends)

hanging with halle

i am in a black area, dressed ghetto styled and i seem to have a nickname of “bigboy” (and only in my dreams can i be called that). the style of the dream seems to be urban blockbuster film.
i am with halle berry we are trying to get into house because it has lots and lots of drugs in it. we start off in some sort of processing plant, it is night, the metal of the steps gleams, the lights cast interesting shadows and out feet klang as we walk.
i have no idea why we are there.
halle is trying to persuade me to go on with the heist, because she is so pretty i don’t take much persuasion.
we get to the house. we are in dressed in black ninja swat style. we both have guns. we get into the house. it is dark and quiet. the mood of the thing becomes a little like a screwball comedy in the style of “what’s up doc?” we are doing comedy whispering as we try to look around.
i am not sure but we may have done some drugs before we got in.
we are also waving our guns around as if they were toys, even though they are heavy and glint in the little bit of light there is. as we tip toe about i suddenly see someone. he is standing in a corner and watching us. he is tall black, bald and dressed in a very sharp black suit. i point the gun at him and tell him to tell us where the drugs are. i get behind him put the gun to the back of his neck, i make halle go in front. i tell him that he has to be careful because we have done drugs don’t make us make a mistake…
he directs us downstairs.
we go.
we are now in a room that looks very much like it has been decorated in ikea style.
we chat more.
halle stumbles and falls on the floor and ends up by a couch and a stereo system and cds. she laughs; she also seems to be sitting amongst a pile of sketches.
the mysterious man tells me where the drugs are; we move from the lovely front room and enter a very large warehouse. drugs are all neatly stacked and label on shelves.
the doorbell rings.
the mysterious man says: “customers”.
i go to the front door, which seems to be an old wooden version of the protective window that garage staff use late at night.
there is a crowd outside. they are waiting, getting a little impatient.
i still have my gun in my hand as i go to the window dispenser.
they don’t recognise me.
all of a sudden they have their guns out.
one man is up at the window shouting, screaming and threatening.
i tell him to calm down, as ever it has the opposite effect.
he is accusing me of robbing his supplier. i am trying to think of something to say.
there are a group of houses across the road; it is very much a nice suburban road. one of the houses has its lights on in the front bedroom.
i tell the noisy man that my colleagues that are watching him from the house across the road, as he turns around the lights go out; when he turns back the lights come on.
i have a “wtf” look on my face.
noisy man just demands his drugs. i start dishing out drugs.
a very large man ambles up; he is in just a pair of shorts, t-shirt, dressing gown and slippers. he is bald. before i give him his drugs i ask to pet him on the head.

(dream ends)

illicit meetings

sort of a sexual comedy of errors. i know this woman who is not happy in her marriage. we live far apart. we chat online. we chat on the phone.
somehow i start to communicate with her husband.
part of that involves me telling him how i can hook him up with someone/thing sexually exciting. i tell his wife this. if we can time it right then it means we can be together while he is being all excited.
as this is a dream we all suddenly live on the same road, which is very long and very straight. we live either side of it and there is a very large glass partition down the centre of it.
contact with husband is established. plan goes into operation.
but now i can’t remember how to contact the wife.
but i can see her we are almost opposite each other. i try to get her to look at me but she doesn’t.
husband is getting a little annoyed because he is waiting.
i can see him, he is in a bedroom that is several doors down from the wife.
the sides of the road we are own are moving in the opposite directions.
i can see her sleeping.
i can see him sitting up waiting.
she wakes. looks to me. i mime her phoning me (i can’t remember her email, website or phone number).
she phones i explain the situation. she gets excited. she gives me her contact details.
i then have to go out to do some bits and pieces in order to make the thing work for the husband.
because of the moving straight roads i need to find the right place to cross.
i find a zebra crossing that does what i need it to do, there is a strip of grass and a low metal fence along side it. i cross and then i seem to end up in a big square that is very brightly lit with neon lights and signs.
i know that both of them are waiting. that time is fast running out.
then i hear something about basketball. itv is announcing something about the nba and the england international jim rosenthal drones on about it, but mentions that the game is on tv at 10 that night. it is now 6. i need to get back in order to watch it.
now i have a panic about all the things i have to do.

(dream ends).

school crimes

it starts with me (perhaps it is not me, but the performer of the dream movie i am watching) walking into a large empty school assembly hall. i stand and look around me, i am in slight awe of the building structure it is polished ornate wood. spotlessly clean, it cries out money and success. form where i stand there is a stage behind me with gorgeous red curtains, in front of me there are a number of double doors, all like burnished bronze, all closed. on the right side there is a balcony and to the left there is a wall of windows.
i am standing outside of a pool of light.
in the light is samuel l jackson he is dressed in a smart dark suit, he is talking to a slim porcelain skinned redhead. from the way they are speaking it is obvious that she is his student. he is congratulating her for her performance; she is smiling at him and is holding her instrument bag.
he walks her out of the hall.
i stand still and drink in the atmosphere. (this is the strange thing, this is pretty much the assembly hall of my comprehensive school, and the only difference is the opulence of the dream version and reality. this all adds to the feeling that this is a movie).
sam l jackson comes back in, he is joined by harry lennix (who played lock in the matrix movies) they are both smiling and conspiratorial. neither of them see me, i move further into the darkness. they are talking in low tones i can’t hear them, as they get further into the hall they get a little louder, they get more excited, they start laughing. they start celebrating but this is the celebration of someone who has scored a winning goal, they run around, the butt chests, they slam fists against the walls.
i am a little worried about this. i am not sure what i am witnessing but i know i shouldn’t be here.
then i hear some of what they say and they are talking about murder, death and overthrowing the authorities.
i make a noise (so like the movies). they hear. i run. i seem to be wearing a large bomber jacket type thing (it is probably a letter jacket) a white t-shirt and a large check shirt and faded slightly baggy jeans. i burst through the double doors at the end. this takes me into an empty reception space, which has gleaming cabinets packed with medals and awards. i keep running through this and out in the schoolyard, i run between some outside classrooms. i can hear them after me. i keep running.
i run down the spine of the school and then double back. i am approaching the doors to the schools. it is dusk, but there are a lot of students going into the school. as i go to enter the school i ditch the jacket.
when i get into the school there is an announcement that there is a problem in the school and that people are to leave.
the announcement seems to say that there are no taxis, no cars and no public transport and that people will have to walk.
i join the exiting crowd. it is a large school and seems to have all ages in it.
i keep walking. it doesn’t take long to leave the very urban school and to enter very leafy suburbs. the flood of students has thinned out.
i get my mobile and call the emergency services, for a moment i panic and i think that the phone is dead. i think i can hear something so i say “hello, hello anyone there?”
a hesitant soft old voice replies “yes”. the accent is west country english. i am confused, i look around and then i realise that i am not in an american school, i am in the north of england in small village streets.
i try to explain that there is murder being planned, but i can’t say where i no longer know the address. i can’t see street names. there is something in the voice and tone on the other end of the phone that lets me know i have made a mistake in calling. they know where i am.
i drop the phone and keep moving.
i enter a park. there is a large group of people they are slowly moving forward to pay homage to a large pile of children’s clothes.
i ask someone what is going on. they say that a number of children have gone missing, presumed dead, that this was a vigil and giving prayer event. as people moved by the pile they take an item of clothing.
somehow it is linked to my recent run in with sam and harry.
i know that if i solve that link i am saved and so are the children.

(dream ends)

a return to places old

i am back in the old warehouse where i used to count and pack comics. it has a very gothic feel to it. i am working in the offices upstairs. it could be the weekend; it could be night there is a skeleton staff working in the place. i am waiting for people to leave.
i am standing on the little platform outside the office door. it is raining hard in that hollywood style, i seem to be in it but i am not wet.
someone is talking to me. i say i have a few more hours of work to do to. he replies that he is nearly finished. the people in the warehouse are nearly finished also. i tell them i will lock it up.
everyone leaves.
i start to think of picking up all the comics have been missing, i am quite excited by the idea.
when i go downstairs to start locking up i go around the corner to check on something or another. when i return to the warehouse i am coming back to it from a completely different direction to the one i left it. instead of coming through a wooded area towards the warehouse, which now seems to be alone with the feeling of being on the edge of a cliff. the office door glows white. it is a little spooky. there is no sound.
as i approach the door i suddenly remember that i don’t know how to set the alarms. do i punch in some numbers to deactivate it, use a key to turn it off or swipe a fob on it?
the confusion mounts and the dream fades.

taylor spits

i have been here before.
i a standing outside in the garden. i am looking up at a large box window that overlooks the garden.
taylor comes to the window to looks out.
a voice over happens it says that taylor has to spit five times a day; today she has gone somewhere else to spit, rather than her usual place of this window.
she notices me looking up at her and smiles.
all of a sudden there is a green splurge on the window, it spreads out on the window and fades.
i nod my head and clap.
i get another gob, this one is much larger, and it is a larger cloud of lighter green. it fills a large chunk of the window.
i clap more and louder.
another gob, a more intensive one this time.
then another.
then the final one it is large watery and explodes across the full width of the window.
it covers the lower half of the window.
(in each case they all seem to fade away).

as i am standing in the garden someone comes out into the garden. i can’t remember who but i think it might have been a wwe wrestler either ddp or stone cold steve austin.
next thing i am exiting a black stretch limo.

and that is all i can remember.
(i am pretty sure that i have dreamt about spitting against the window before including the fact that it has to be 5 times a day).

not quite home

i am not sure about this dream, but i do think that having a cold is making me dream more.
there are parts of this dream that make me think that i am just playing over a film trailer i have seen but can’t quite place. the dream is a curious tone that is a sort of mix of sepia, insect skin colour and the tone of decay.
it feels like i am watching the dream rather than i am in the dream.
the lead characters may have been adventurers, they may have been explorers, sports superstars or actors but whatever they were they are no longer where they were supposed to be. three of them are dressed in what look to be a racing uniform and stand next to a rugged looking sports car. another small group are a little bit away from them and they are in a support truck, one of the support truck team is wearing a big black hat and has a zappa moustache that has moved into comedy territory.
all of them look a little confused and a little worried.
they are in a large open street, there are building on either side, they look very substantial but they are on 3 or 4 floors high. the road looks to be hard packed mud.
there are crowds in front of them, behind them and to the sides of them.
they are being cheered.
the three racers/stars have no idea what is going on.
their car is being towed forward and they are walking beside it. the lead man on one side his co-star and leading lady on the other side.
none of them seem to want to go into the car.
the car goes forward, they go with it. support truck follows them.
the black hat shouts out to then get in the car. they all pointedly ignore him.
co- star turns to leading man and says over the roof of the car – you should get in, you are the star.
leading man replies – i am not getting in there.
all of them are nervously stealing a glance at the bonnet of the car, but none of them looking at the car.
leading lady says – think of them as your fans.
the joke doesn’t break the ice.
the crowd moves with the car. they are in a moving bubble of space.
the crowd is enthusiastic, but doesn’t appear to be human, it is as if henson puppets had mated with the dark denizens of the cthuthlu and then dressed as if they were appearing in an end of the wild west film.
on the bonnet of the car are a number of writhing beasts that are slithering and slaking all over it, their faces looking at the stars. there is no threat, they seem happy to have the stars here.
just that the stars are not happy to be there.
the crowd in front is a mix of creatures large and small, solid and wobbly. there is an element of comedy about them – some look like they could have stepped out of hr puffenstuff while others look like they would only be happy in the recesses of your own worst nightmares. some amble along others look like every movement just causes pain and discomfort to them and those around them, some are slender others are just rolls of blubber that move in ways you can’t understand. some are like people, others are like great wild animals.
none of them are the same.

cut from there to outside the leading man’s flat. the stars look tired. the support truck has gone and the crowds are not there.
the leading lady wants a drink, the co-star wants to rest, and neither of them wants to go into the building until the star has okayed it.
he mumbles some curses at them and makes his way in.
it is a taller building than the others they have seen.
his flat is close to the top of the building.
the corridors are dimly lit, there is a mottled pattern on the wall it could be pages out of a book of leaf patterns, except that all of them look like they are dead and rotting and that if you look at them too long they seem to move, to float in a diseased jelly. the star makes his way to his flat.
goes to open the door.
hanging on the door is a jug and there seems to be a tea like substance in it, but not enough tea bags dangling in it.
he says – looks like you aren’t getting a drink again.
(although there is no way of knowing it is obvious in the dream that this is a joke at the expense of the leading lady and refers to something that has happened earlier in the movie).
he crosses the corridor to a rubbish room and empties the jug.
he then enters his room. it looks like the corridor in terms of décor, but all the furniture is also covered in this odd moving decaying style.
he is not sure if the place has been ransacked or he is just messy.
he goes to the kitchen to make some drinks.
bits of the décor float off from their surroundings to greet him. he gives a little scream.
and calls down to the leading lady and co-star that it is ok to come up.

(can’t remember any more).

blue and white dress: off to see the wizard

i am on a spying mission. i am with my partner a little fat man, who is balding but has a very large moustache. he wears what appears to be a suit that would not be out of place in a period drama, you could be easily mistaken for thinking that he was auditioning for the part of dr. watson in a sherlock holmes movie.
i have no idea what we are looking for.
i know we are in a part of london that is familiar but is also nothing at all like london.
we are near a playground that has lots of basketball courts on it, each of them surrounded by mesh fences; it is all very much like a maze.
we are walking around talking to people.
we meet a tall amazonian black girl at once she is both ancient and young, serious and flirty. she is taller than both of us. she is wearing a long blue and white gingham dress, a bright white blouse, white tights and flat shoes. her hair is in two pigtails, tied with big ribbons. she appears ready to find the wizard.
we ask her questions.
she takes us back to her place.
she goes to bed.
we can both see that she is stretched out naked on her bed. we both make some less than subtle jokes about her wantonness, awarding scores for her sexuality.
i approach her.
she talks of the goddess. we entwine.
i wake up, sprawled alone on the bed.
she is up and about. she is still naked and she is walking around she is talking to herself. she turns to me and says, “are these your keys?” i say yes (and they are indeed the keys i use to open my front door in the real world). she smiles and says that won’t do. she drops them and goes looking for the keys she needs. as she walks she is sometimes naked, she is sometimes dressed as she was before.
without being told i know she is looking for some keys so that she can open the doors to her shop that is across the road.
she wants to go there to get a small iron, there is no reason given for why she wants this small iron. but there is a sense of foreboding about it.
she approaches a pile of clothes that belong to my partner (he is nowhere to be seen) and pulls out his identity card and badge. she smiles at me. she had found the key.
she takes it to the door, presses it against the door and it opens.
my dream self does not see the rest.
she is dressed, she starts to look on the shelves that are there.
in the dream a feeling of inevitability occurs and fills the whole scene. my dreamself does not witness what takes place.
to look on the shelves she has perched herself, almost cartoon like; on a pile of boxes and chairs, she leans impossibly from this tower to the shelves. below her sitting down and looking at another pile of stuff is my partner. they are totally unaware of each other.
as she looks, she seems to move things to another place, this “shelf” appears invisible but it holds the items she places there. one of the things she moves is a small iron still in its box, it is no longer important to her. she smiles she seems to have find what she wants. to get to it she needs to push some more things away. in doing that she overbalances, topples and knocks stuff on to her. even though she is trapped her left arm shoots out and hits the pile of objects she has moved. this causes them to fall.
this all ripples down onto my partner and somehow manages to make him fall and kill himself.
there is a comedy horror element to it all.
both bodies are still and trapped under the debris of consumer life.

back on the bed my dreamself has not seen any of this.
it is almost as if i had forgotten both the black amazon and my partner. i go out i have a camera with me and i walk along the road. i come to this building. it is a fantastically ornate building. the front of which is a mixed of intricately carved wooden panels and steps leading to church doors. the wooden panels are beautiful. yet they appear to be roughly done, as if not yet finished, though there is no doubt that they are complete.
i want to take photos of these panels but i am not sure that i can. there is no one to ask.

then i am back in a flat it could be the shop that my partner and the black amazon where crushed in, or it could be a flat that used to belong to my mum. my dreamself is not sure. i am not even sure if it is now in london.
there is a door that appears to lead to the shop, i need to lock this door, but i can’t find the key.
i do no want to leave the flat with that door open. this seems to be important.
i look in lots of drawers (that echo the wooden panels of the other building) but find nothing.
i think to myself that i could let a friend stay here and that way i wouldn’t have to worry about the door. i could also come back sometimes after work as well.

that seems to end the dream.