meals but not on wheels

i am in a resturant with someone from work. we are not out on a work do as i am thinking about how we are going to split the bill - straight down the middle or work out who ate what.
the meal has been very nice.
all the staff are female, and have been exceptional.
we are thinking about going but then we are offered desert. we are tempted. then i notice that a change has come over the waitress. where as before they had been smartly but pimly dressed, now there seems to be an edge of sensuality about how they are dressed. i notice one as she leans over to serve another table, and she is showing a lot of breast. another is showing a lot of leg and her stocking tops are showing.
i am looking at the desert menu. it is all wonderful. big bright colours, obviously all full of e numbers. the deserts are all in wacky shapes and no idea of what they are, but all are tempting.
the waitresses are fliting about, hanging around our table as if we are the most important people in the world. we are enjoying the view.
i want to have desert - partly because it looks so tempting and partly because i want to make this meal last as the eye candy is so scrummy. but i can't work out what is on the menu, the pictures look great but i can't make out what the stuff is.
i ask the waitress, she comes and sits in my lap. whispering in my ear asking me what the problem is.
i ask her what each of the deserts are made up of.
she looks at me oddly, as if to say are you mad or stupid?
she points to the menu, and suddenly i can see that beneath each picture there is a clear description. she gets up in a bit of a huff.
the resturant returns to normal.