We've decided to go and see the stage version of Chicago, which appears to have Catherine Zeta Jones in it. As we walk into the theatre a man comes up behind me and starts to move my arms and legs for me, walking me straight up onto the stage. I go along with it, realising it's got to be something to do with the show and although I hate the humiliating way some shows use audience members for laughs, I don't want to appear to be a bad sport. I end up having to do a huge dance number with Catherine in front of the audience, but do quite well to my surprise. I get a standing ovation.
Then suddenly I'm on my own and visiting my old school friend Luci who lives in a remote and almost derelict house in the countryside. But instead of looking as I remember her, she looks exactly like...a naked and pregnant Samantha Janus. Also, her face is contorted slightly which makes her look extremely cat-like. We talk as normal though.
Whilst we chat, I look out of the window and see Pauline, a lesbian girl I was at college with, as she chases a stray dog across a farmer's field.
And then I wake up.