29/8/07 Dream

I'm at a sit-down dinner party, lots of friends and family are there.

I'm standing up chatting to someone and as the dream progresses I realise that the person I am talking to is my dead father. He's younger but still bearded and saying lots of amusing things and clearly enjoying himself, so unlike the horrible twisted end of his life.

And in my dream I go hysterical at seeing him - I gasp for breath between loud wide-eyed sobs, grab at a nearby pillar to stop myself from falling...

And then I wake up. And I'm crying, quietly. My eyes are wet and I have to press my face against the back of the person sleeping next to me for the intense feeling of utter loss to go away.

And then I sleep...

And dream of the person sleeping next to me getting up and making themselves breakfast...consisting solely of popcorn.

And then I wake up. Again.